Polly’s pondering’s are very quick posts (that I can type into the WordPress App during my lunch break!) It is just me chatting about something that I have ‘pondered’ today and speedily typed up while munching on my bread-sticks and hummus. Consider it a take on modern miscellany with an older person’s perspective. This weeks pondering? Should we say yes, less?
Full disclosure : I am not at work today, so don’t technically have a lunch hour, but I can sneak a bit of writing in on my phone while taking a coffee break, between wrangling 3 year old twins – hence this one is a bit later today!
Many of my Pondering’s propound the benefits of being polite and nice to people, and I still fully endorse all I have previously written on the subject, but let’s just have a quick chat, you and I.
Does your being polite to people often get misconstrued as a form of weakness?
Are you seen as soft, or a pushover because you don’t scream and rant at the slightest annoyances?
Do you worry that saying no to someone might offend them, and you therefore go along with suggestions you may not necessarily agree with?
Same! I have got myself into alsorts of trouble by accepting things I didn’t want, in fact I put my overstuffed house down to not refusing items at the risk of not being offered again at another time.
Obviously, saying yes can be good, sometimes. It opens us up to challenges and new adventures, and no-one wants to hang with a Negative Nelly who just shoots down all of your ideas and proposals.
But a no – said politely but firmly – is freeing you up to spend time on what you feel is important and helps your growth.
As Shakespeare points out in Henry V (yes, I literally know it off by heart!)
“Self-love… is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.”
Be kind to yourself, this includes giving yourself permission to not do things you do not want to do.
Practice saying yes, to less, and recapture your space, time and freedom.
What will you being saying yes, less often to in 2019?